I’m quite sure I have it…do you? Is it a new
condition, or just a new name?
Last night I awoke at about 3am. Not unusual, but in
normal times I’d fall back to sleep. Not last night, or several other similar
nights. Instead I began considering the possibility of something happening to
Joe Biden, perhaps something with Russian sophistication or White Supremacist
crudeness.
Then
I thought about a less than resounding defeat of Donald Trump and the aftermath
of conflict. I saw Institutions being blown apart in the wake and a psychotically
pure narcissistic mad man, with the power to inflict martial law and exercise
nuclear codes. No…I didn’t get back to sleep.
Take
this new form of Depression, I’ll call Trumpression, mix it with the
uncertainties we must all now deal with daily regarding a malevolent disease,
and sprinkle in social inequities that have finally (and understandably) reached
a boiling point, and November 3rd starts to feel like a lifetime…no,
two lifetimes away.
Perhaps
if I was a bit stronger or maybe more clever I could compartmentalize. Like
many Americans, or others around the world, most of my Trumpression is derived
from watching the idiot in the White House, listening to the pundits who rail
against him, and railing at the pundits who worship his idiocy.
(Let me pause briefly: the
President IS an idiot, not because he is profoundly stupid but because he is
woefully lacking in knowledge. But, more importantly, he has a Narcissistic
Personality Disorder and therefore his
world view, personal or otherwise, is totally subjective. He does not have, nor
can he have any empathy or shame. It is the stuff of nightmares for us, but
interestingly for him as well. It is why autocrats are such focused, corruptible,
and miserable people.)
My
life is not significantly different than it was when Obama was President. The
economy was tracking up year after year, the United States was still respected
around the world for things other than its military, those that supported
science began to hold sway, and the realities of wealth inequality and systemic
racism were becoming inescapable. Still, none of that affected my day to day
life, really.
However,
those pleasing abstract realities, ending with a few thousand people voting or
failing to vote in Michigan, Wisconsin, and Pennsylvania in 2016, have now been
replaced. So now my diet, my sleep patterns, and my level of energy are all
enslaved to Trumpression. No matter how much I try to tell myself how well off
I am compared to so many others, it is inescapable.
Being
over 70 I’m supposed to help the impact of the Pandemic by remaining out of
circulation. That, of course, only exacerbates the problem. I know that to
thrive through these next 66 days I’m going to have to find some ways to apply
my time and money to ending my Trumpression.
Perhaps you do too. Maybe I’ll see you out there. We need a universally identifiable
mask.
Stay
healthy Joe.