T
– Sit down Mr. President… may I call you Vladimir? Don’t you love the chandeliers
in this place…bright…really bright…could use a little more mood, if you know
what I mean…let’s see…which one is the translator, oh...ok…did you get that right?
V
– Yes, and you may call me Vladimir and I would be honored to call you Donald.
Correct?
T
– Absolutely, 100 percent, it’s like how I like to…if you frankly, I mean even leaders
even in the past may have been unhappy, hostile and like that…we need to begin
on the right foot and try to show the world…well…a better, you know, way. I think you’ll agree.
V
– Yes
T
– Okay…okay, but let’s get this, you know…out of the way. By this I mean the
whole Russia thing being investigated back in the US…I don’t think we need to
discuss it…spend time you know.
V
– I agree. It is best we announce that we both felt it too ridiculous to waste
this important summit on.
T
– Absolutely, why would we? Nothing there…without I mean…including the campaign…even
with Flynn, General Flynn…right? Right?
V
– Flynn? Hmm…Flynn? Oh yes, I forgot. He was the minister you fired? My memory
comes and goes on such things. Right now I don’t remember too much. That’s what
our wives are for…
T
– …oh sure (chuckle). By the way, you
have a lovely wife Voomilia…
V
– …that’s Lyudmilia and thank you. I have admired your opinion of women going
back to 2013 when you brought the marvelous Miss Universe contest to Moscow.
The impression you made on the contestants… well, their admiration was obvious.
T
– It was just business…but hey, when you’re making money and putting on a show,
no reason not to win at both…if you know what I mean. But let’s get something
else off…I mean, we don’t need to spoil the food on the table with…you know,
this election thing they said you did.
V
– I thought we already decided…
T
– …no, that was the witch hunt collusion thing… this other thing…the hacking
thing. The whole liberal media and security people…FBI and…whatever…I mean they’re
like some hot bitch on a leash. The
sanctions…you know…
V
– Yes, I very much want to talk about the sanctions, but I think we can come to
the same agreement that we both find such investigation a waste of time and
resources. We need to emphasize that we are both focused on improving the
economies of our nations and providing stability and peace throughout the
world. All else is distraction by those forces that want to undermine that
goal. I think your commentators call it “Deep State”.
T
– Yes, I thought we’d, that we…this is the kind of cooperation that couldn’t
have existed with Obama…
V
– …no, not possible…
T
– …and I’m glad to hear we can…you know…that this is the time to start making a
difference in our lives…you know…all lives, not even our lives or not just our
lives. We have a saying in our Country “All
Lives Matter”. I thought of it, but then
someone else printed it…that’s okay…it’s the idea. That’s what matters.
V
– Yes Donald. Let me point out that you are much loved in my Country. How you won
a massive victory even as critics around the world falsely predicted your
failure…amazing. I am not so proud or so
without common sense not to want to take advantage of your story. I obviously cannot
take advantage of you, but I can craft my own success by showing my people how
I was able to cultivate your friendship.
T
– I see.
V
– If we could leave this meeting and announce that we were ending eight decades
of hostility and forging a new future with new opportunities for those with the
wisdom to use their skills and brands to build a new world. We could end the
threat of nuclear war by joining our goals. Our generation is almost done, but
our children’s names will continue to be beacons for years to come.
T
– I see.
V
– Yes, I’m sure you can see that hostile rhetoric and things like sanctions
work against our common interest. But if
you feel you can’t take the risk…
T
– …wait a minute Vladimir. Risk taking is what I do. There is an old American phrase I have used
since I was a small…since I was a young…it’s called “car-pee de-um”. I mean…it means…win the day! Or take command
of the day…you know what I mean. It is…the
art of the deal. Believe me, we can both be successes…for everyone.
V
– But how can you eliminate sanctions and return to us our estate properties with such a defiant, liberal Congress? It’s
like trying to eliminate those nasty allegations about collusion...
T
– Eliminate sanctions? Estate properties?....Oh, yeah…I see.
You forget Vladimir. I’m President of
the United States. Amazing, yes? Massive
electoral victory…nobody believed Pennsylvania or Wisconsin could go my way.
Crooked Hillary, right? What a loser. I just need to sign my name and the
sanctions are…poof...and the keys are in the front doors. Now let’s open this
bottle of the best wine you ever tasted, you won’t believe it…and look…check
out the name on the label…
1 comment:
A masterpiece!
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