I Don't Like...

So I’m watching this young woman, probably in her late 20s or early 30s, walking into a house and saying; “well (a shake of her head)…I don’t like THAT!” She’s looking at wallpaper.  Then she spies a small light fixture hanging from the ceiling and shakes her head again. “This has GOT to go”. Later she’s looking at an obviously updated, granite kitchen counter and casually remarks; “I can’t live with this.” 

She’s looking to buy a home for herself (plus spouse), maybe her first.  It’s another episode of House Hunters which occupies significant space on the cable network HGTV, the network which acts as pornography for women.

My wife Jan doesn’t just watch HGTV, she lives HGTV. If, like the little girl in Poltergeist, she was sucked into the TV by nefarious and super natural forces…I’d know where to tune her in. Unlike in Poltergeist however, my problem would not be in how to get her out, it would be how to talk her into leaving. “Walk toward the Tiny Houses”, I might wail (she hates the Tiny House craze –“why don’t they just buy an RV?”).

As such, I find myself inadvertently watching various episodes of real estate marketing and home improvement as it exists in the alternate universe known as reality television.  It is often the price I have to pay for eating ice cream in an immobile yet comfortable body position.  

I spend some of this HGTV emersion making wise comments about what I observe (much to the chagrin of my wife): “Oh, look how surprised they are peeking into that bonus room and turning on the light.  I wonder if they’re equally surprised to find a camera crew in there as well”. However, sometimes I can regard many of these HGTV players who are not professional actors and, even with careful editing, those aspects of their personalities spilling forth on the screen.

Our neighbor’s daughter was featured on an episode of House Hunters International.  A perfectly lovely young woman, her thoughtful and engaging persona shown through, even though the search for the ideal apartment in Brussels was compete horse-poopie.  She had been living in the apartment she “finally chose” even before being picked for the show.  The search was, in the words of the Bard, much ado about nothing.  My neighbor’s daughter, on the other hand, was genuine.

So it is reasonable to ponder on these characters that lay out their lives and temperament to a national audience.  The personality traits they demonstrate, by virtue of their amateur status, may be the only reality in this particular corner of “reality” television.

What I’ve been pondering are the two distinct types that walk through these staged buildings passing judgment on such important items as electrical outlet covers and doggie doors. 

There are those who make the vast majority of their observations as a testimony to why they enjoy life.  They’ll go into a room that looks like the archangel of the 1970s threw up on the walls and say, “Ooo…there’s so much potential”, or squeeze by a partially collapsed floor that looks down into the depths of Hell and remark; “Well…that looks like an easy fix.”  I don’t think these are the people HGTV wants.

The producers of HGTV probably want the type of person I was watching who, while trying to decide on a $748,000 California bungalow, are appalled at the sight of a crooked lamp on a night table or the crimson velour grandma drapes in the spare bedroom. As these observations have nothing to say about the quality of the house, they have oodles to say about the observer and that’s what the producers love.

There are people who go through life who simply don’t like.  Don’t like what, you ask?  They just don’t like…you fill in the blank.  They base their world view not on what they enjoy or value, but rather on that which they find annoying and distasteful.  They also feel some sense of individual superiority to pass judgment critically.  Even on things they like they can find some small shortfall to comment on; “…boy that was a great dessert, except for the odd way the raspberry sauce was streuseled on the plate”.  They focus first on what they don’t like; what they see, what they eat, what they encounter.  Whether weather is naturally produced or has inside conditioning it is an endless search for improvement.

Okay…okay, everyone is like that to some extent and realistically no one is a pure Pollyanna.  I don’t like 4 out of every 5 movies I see…oh dear. Still the bell curve on this is not tall and the distinction between those individuals who heavily lean positive and those negative are pretty easy to flesh out.  On HGTV it’s a snap! 

Most of the viewers actually enjoy disliking those obnoxious house hunters and home renovators.  I’m not like them, you think.  But take a listen in your reality and see how often you hear “I don’t like” verses “I like” (or their verbal equivalent).  If people are truly interested in changing their lives for the better then they need to focus on all those little things they find they don’t like and…well…shut up.  Because this isn’t reality TV and, frankly, no one really gives a damn about what you don’t like.